“In school, we’re rewarded for having the answer, not for asking a good question,” Warren Berger writes. And he’s right. Kids start off asking endless “why” and “what if” questions… until slowly that curiosity gets replaced with the fear of looking like we don’t know.
But here’s the truth most adults forget: real learning starts with knowing that you don’t know.
That’s the doorway to growth.
When I directed a play last year, I saw this play out in the most interesting way. Most of the kids were very easy to direct. They were open, eager and curious, taking feedback as a chance to improve, not as criticism. They asked questions, seeing curiosity as a strength.
The adults… Well, let’s just say that some of them were a little more “fixed.” They wanted to appear as if they already knew everything – even when they didn’t. Every suggestion felt like a challenge. Every piece of direction felt like an attack. The energy dropped and the joy of discovery evaporated.
It made me wonder: When do we trade the excitement of learning for the comfort of appearing competent?
Children live in a constant state of growth mindset. They expect to learn and they seek guidance. That’s what makes them so coachable – and so inspiring.
And in business, I see the same pattern. When leaders stop asking questions, they stop growing. When teams fear not knowing, they stop listening and the organisation suffers.
Curiosity isn’t a weakness. It’s awareness. It’s the willingness to say, “I don’t know yet, but I want to.”
That mindset transforms coaching. It turns feedback into fuel.
This is where having a growth mindset becomes powerful. It gives leaders a way to check in with themselves – honestly, gently, and without ego.
Try asking yourself:
- What do I do in the moment I don’t know?
- Do I lean in with curiosity, or tense up with defensiveness?
- Do I treat feedback as helpful or hurtful?
- Do I ask questions, or pretend I already have the answer?
These questions matter because they reveal your actual mindset – the one that shows up when things get uncomfortable.
And here’s the fun part: adults are just children in bigger bodies. We still don’t know half the things we pretend to know… we’ve just become better at hiding it. Kids don’t bother with that. They ask. They explore. They try. They fall over. They get up. They ask again.
That growth mindset is one of the most powerful tools a leader can reclaim. So notice how you respond when you don’t know… and have the courage to be curious.
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Craig Cherry